How to Become the Best Wife: A Holistic Guide with Scriptures, Books, and Wisdom
Being the best wife is about love, service, and commitment to building a joyful, strong, and spiritually healthy marriage. Here are principles, supported by scripture, practical advice, and books to help you grow in your role as a loving and supportive wife.
1. Effective Communication
Key Principle: Clear and respectful communication fosters connection and understanding.
- Scripture: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV).
- Application: Communicate openly with your husband, expressing both your needs and your appreciation. Practice active listening to truly understand his thoughts and feelings.
- Recommended Book: “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman. This book provides evidence-based tools to improve communication and build strong marital bonds.
2. Love and Respect
Key Principle: Express love and respect regularly through both words and actions.
- Scripture: “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”(Ephesians 5:33, ESV).
- Application: Show your husband respect by affirming his role, encouraging him, and honoring his efforts. Be sure to express love both verbally and through small, thoughtful acts of kindness.
- Recommended Book: “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. This book explores the powerful dynamic of love and respect in marriage and how these principles can transform your relationship.
3. Support and Encouragement
Key Principle: Be your husband’s greatest source of support, standing by him in all seasons.
- Scripture: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4, ESV).
- Application: Stand with your husband in his dreams and ambitions. Encourage him during difficult times and celebrate his successes. Your unwavering support will strengthen his confidence and resilience.
- Recommended Book: “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. This book highlights the importance of praying for your husband and how spiritual support can impact his life and your marriage.
4. Quality Time
Key Principle: Invest time in nurturing your relationship and creating shared memories.
- Scripture: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8, ESV).
- Application: Spend intentional, undistracted time with your husband—whether through shared hobbies, meaningful conversations, or simple moments of togetherness. Quality time strengthens your bond and reinforces the foundation of your relationship.
- Recommended Book: “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley Jr. This book explores how meeting each other’s emotional needs is key to a fulfilling marriage.
5. Emotional and Spiritual Support
Key Principle: Be a source of emotional and spiritual strength for your husband.
- Scripture: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV).
- Application: Offer your husband emotional support by being a listening ear, showing empathy, and providing encouragement during challenging times. Additionally, pray together and grow spiritually as a couple.
- Recommended Book: “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas. This book emphasizes how marriage can be a tool for spiritual growth and how both spouses can help each other deepen their faith in Christ.
6. Shared Responsibilities
Key Principle: Work together as partners in managing the household and making decisions.
- Scripture: “She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens” (Proverbs 31:15, ESV).
- Application: Share responsibilities with your husband in a way that reflects mutual respect and teamwork. Be a proactive partner in managing the household, making decisions, and raising children.
- Recommended Book: “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky. This book offers practical advice on dividing household responsibilities in a way that promotes equality and harmony in marriage.
7. Grow Together Spiritually
Key Principle: Strive to grow in faith together as you journey through life.
- Scripture: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33, ESV).
- Application: Grow closer to God together by attending church, reading scripture, and praying as a couple. Spiritual growth strengthens your bond and helps you navigate challenges with grace and wisdom.
- Recommended Book: “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller. This Christian perspective on marriage offers deep theological insights on how a biblical marriage mirrors God’s love for us.
8. Maintain Intimacy
Key Principle: Nurture both emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage.
- Scripture: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine”(Song of Solomon 6:3, ESV).
- Application: Prioritize emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage. Share your thoughts, emotions, and dreams, and be affectionate in ways that strengthen your bond.
- Recommended Book: “Intended for Pleasure” by Ed Wheat. This Christian guide to marital intimacy emphasizes the importance of both emotional and physical closeness in marriage.
9. Patience and Forgiveness
Key Principle: Practice patience and extend grace, understanding that no marriage is perfect.
- Scripture: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2, NIV).
- Application: Be patient with your husband, recognizing that no one is perfect. When disagreements arise, approach them with humility and a willingness to forgive. Forgiveness is essential in maintaining a healthy and peaceful relationship.
- Recommended Book: “Boundaries in Marriage” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This book provides insights on setting healthy boundaries that can lead to greater understanding and a stronger marriage.
10. Never Stop Learning
Key Principle: Commit to continuous growth and learning within your marriage.
- Scripture: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1, NIV).
- Application: Marriage is a lifelong journey of learning and growth. Attend marriage workshops, read books, and seek counsel from older couples or mentors. Never stop striving to improve and strengthen your marriage.
- Recommended Book: “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray. This book helps you understand the different communication styles and emotional needs of men and women, leading to greater harmony in your relationship.
Recommended Additional Reading:
- “Marriage on the Rock” by Jimmy Evans.
- “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace.
May God bless your marriage and guide you on this journey of love, growth, and partnership!
